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My soul is not contained within the limits of my body. Stay true to yourself. The same applies when you are stupid. Everything is a team effort. In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one. Tina Fey Click to tweet. Airplane toilets are aggressive. Men are like a deck of cards. Steve Martin Click to tweet. Now I drink in front of a mirror. It can have fish in it. Not everyone has good taste.

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Description: My greatest hero is Nelson Mandela. Otto von Bismarck Click to tweet. The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice cream. Sunday hilarity — Your dominical chuckles deposit. Oscar Wilde Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. If America leads a blessed life, then why did God put all of our oil under people who hate us. If this is coffee, please bring me some tea. but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee. Jerry Seinfeld Knowledge is like underwear. Not my circus, not my monkeys. I was pretty religious. I like to think of it as one of our greatest earliest natural resources, which must be preserved at all cost. Remember, when you are dead, you do not know you are dead.
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