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There's a secret formula that takes four stats and weights them in accordance to what the development team thought were the most sex-ssential attributes. That's not to say that they excised all vaginas from the game. You're creating a new version of you, from changing your boring-ass business haircut into a radass party mullet to, fuck it, seeing what your right arm would look like if it was replaced by a chainsaw. The focus groups make sure that heaving polygons are at least passably recognizable as real human breasts, instead of, say, pillowcases filled with gravel. Batman fights Superman. It's well known that every time a game allows players to create their own levels, the servers will be flooded with dicks. And like in every area where there's high competition, some of them really put in the effort to stand out. Also, we'd be bereft if we didn't mention the realistic dick dangle physics , which we can't show you in motion , but if you've ever been inside a gym locker room you probably have a pretty good idea of what we're talking about. So in conclusion, now you finally understand what the point of high school algebra was. I agree to the Terms of Service.

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Description: Use My Facebook Avatar. Including, amazingly, your ability to go heels-to-Jesus without disappointing your partner and shuffling to the nearest chem slinger for some shitty future drugs and scotch. That shit might fly in LittleBigPlanet , but you're playing for the Harlem Globetrotters of penis artwork now, son. These stats have an effect on absolutely everything you do. If your wang doesn't tower above the skyline like an angry totemic idol , spewing white-hot goo all over the staggered populace, what's the point. As you're mindlessly decapitating the undead, ripping out evil ninjas' spinal cords, or running over a father of two who just wanted to get to work, it's easy to forget all the time and effort that goes into our video games. So simple, but so bad. Quite the contrary, actually. Let's take a look at the wildest guesses scientists have made about who's going to probe us one day. It wasn't until much later that players figured out exactly why.
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